Friday, July 24, 2009

DGAF Profile #2: Ol' Dirty Bastard

You know that song that goes, "You can't Wu-Tang better than me"? Well it doesn't matter, because you SURE as hell can't better than ODB... and I don't think you can get any more DGAF. Even the RZA himself in the Wu-Tang Manual proclaimed that "There's only one Dirty. The planet couldn't handle another." Well how DGAF is the one and only Russell Jones? He's so DGAF that he has this many aliases: Dirty, the Professor, the Bebop Specialist, the Specialist, Prince Delight, Ason Unique, Unique Ason, Osiris, Dirt McGirt, Dirt Scultz, Ol' Dirt Dawg, Joe Bananas, Freeloading Rusty, and even MORE listed on his wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ol_dirty_bastard

But my favorite alias of ODB? Definitely Big Baby Jesus. I mean, BIG BABY JESUS? REALLY? Have you heard the lyrics to "I Can't Wait" on N***a Please? I mean, he was so DGAF that he even named an album "N***a Please"! And have you seen the cover? LOOK AT THIS SHIT:



Who else is DGAF enough to take a limo to pick up a welfare check ON TV? ODB, THAT'S WHO!!!



But HAVE you listened to any of his solo albums??? HAVE YOU HEARD "I CAN'T WAIT"??? HAVE YOU HEARD THESE LYRICS??? He gives a shout out to LUKE. As in Luther "Skyywalker" Campbell from the notorious 2 Live Crew and one of the prominent figures in Miami Bass in the early '90s! AND to OutKast!!! All while threatening to bring on the Armageddon! And did I mention the shout outs to Eskimos, boats AND submarines?




ODB is a true DGAF legend... the RZA claimed that when they were about 16, ..."some guys rolled up on him... with a shotgun. And ODB just took the gun right out of the guy's hand. The motherfucker snatched the gun and turned it back on him... No one else did shit like that – and not live to tell." And ODB sure as hell lived up to his name. The RZA continues, "In every kung-fu movie, there's always the dirty bastard, the dirty rat, somebody who, no matter what he does, does wrong. Even when he does right, his intent is to do wrong. Well that's Dirty in real life... He'd rather do it to a girl that got a guy than girl without a guy." He smoked crack, was shot several times, was arrested for everything from shoplifting (he stole $50 shoes while he was carrying $500), attempted murder, assault, attempted robbery, drug possession, driving without a license, and failing to pay child support for his 13 kids. THIRTEEN KIDS!!!

But even the bastard had a heart under that ol' dirty exterior. Legend has it that he witnessed a car accident from his recording studio in Brooklyn and he helped lift a car to save a 4-year old girl. Yes, you read that right... and damn, you thought that shit only happened in movies. And apparently he visited her in the hospital too. ODB win.

Not only that, but can you believe that he would posthumously show that he had more class than KANYE WEST??? Yeah right, you're thinking, Ol' Dirty Bastard. That crazy crack smokin' criminal. Versus hip, trendy, and clean Kanye. But here's the proof... let's start out with Kanye's tantrum at the 2006 MTV music awards when he lost to Justice:



OH HALE NAW KANYE OH HALE NAW. Can you believe that shit? Kanye was rude, disrespectful, called So-Me a "n***a" (wtf???) and threw in some cussing. HIlarious? Yes. Classy? NOPE.

Believe it or not, despite the fact that the Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with, ODB didn't bring the ruckus when he crashed the stage at the 1998 Grammys. Just listen to his speech:



ODB didn't cuss, didn't disrespect anyone, and never once raised his voice. He even tried to end his speech on a positive note! "I love you all? Peace?" Wu-Tang are really doing it for the children, because they save them from car accidents too. WOW. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT? Seriously.

ODB is sadly no longer with us... he died in 2004, 2 days before his 36th birthday. Wu-Tang's first album was called Enter the Wu-Tang Clan: 36 Chambers. He died in his studio which was on west 34th street. 36-2=34. Wu-Tang numerology would have a fucking field day. There are even conspiracies about ODB being killed... another case of a musician who turned clean but mysteriously died of an overdose. We've seen this twice before in Seattle in the '90s but I won't name any names. The RZA proclaimed OBD as "...a true American free spirit. He scares some people, but other people just love him because he'll do what they wish they would do but are scared."

DGAF ODB RIP

Japan is DGAF




...'nuff said.


DGAF CHATS pt 1

The first in a series of the most ridiculous chats i've ever been a part of...


cynthia:
HI DON CAKES
Shimosh:
hahahahaha
don cakes
creepy
cynthia:
or apparently lil don cakes now
Shimosh:
i imagine little cakes
Lil Don:
Amy farts.
Shimosh:
with don's face on it
lil don cakes
cynthia:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH awwwww don is the shit
now i talk slang
Shimosh:
don shits

Shimosh:
http://dailybooth.com/Jon:/642547
cynthia:
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
JON
JON
suzanarchist:
are u serious
cynthia:
JON
AWWWWWWWWWWW
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUZANNE
suzanarchist:
WHAT THE HELL
cynthia:
SUZANNE I HEART U SO MUCH
suzanarchist:
IS GOING ON
cynthia:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
suzanarchist:
WHAT HAVE WE CREATED
JON WTF




Lil Don:
You already got on the Justice myspace!
you're famous!
suzanarchist:
i know don.
LOL
Lil Don:
first LMFAO
suzanarchist:
at like 4 am
Lil Don:
actually
suzanarchist:
NO
DON
NO
Lil Don:
first Justice
suzanarchist:
DON
NO
Lil Don:
then LMFAO
then JUSTICE
suzanarchist:
LOL
WHAT LOL
Lil Don:
then JUSTMFAO
which is some sort of chinese food dish I don't know
suzanarchist:
DON
LOL
JUSTMFAO
Shimosh:
AHAHAHA
Lil Don:
LMFAJUSTICE



cynthia:
gaspards package kinda goes side to side..... HUGE MAN.... im assuming
Shimosh:
hahahah omg don't even start
hahah oh xavier
http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/KuJaKgo5xmT/Belvedere+IX+Launch+Party/ZfotU9YG3J6/Xavier+de+Rosnay
handsome.
lol!!!!
Jon:
i guess its cool to tuck it to the right
haha
Shimosh:
LOL
suzanarchist:
jon = xavier
Jon:
haha
Shimosh:
no
jon=amy as xavier
Jon:
jon=amy=xavier
Lil Don:
Amy = Jon = Asian Xavier


Shimosh:
omg jon is asian xavier
jonvier
Lil Don:
LOL
suzanarchist:
jon
u win
u have no idea
Lil Don:
You win the prize Jon
you win sideburns
Jon:
I want my chops shipped usps
suzanarchist:
oh wow
Jon:
i need a friend to be suz=gaspard
Lil Don:
fuck that
just be friends with gaspard
Jon:
haha
Lil Don:
it's easier



suzanarchist:
look that calico cat
suzanarchist:
cunthia
Lil Don:
him and his hoi face
Lil Don:
LOL
suzanarchist:
cynthia
suzanarchist:
LOL
Lil Don:
CUNTHIA
Jon:
HAHAHAHAH!
suzanarchist:
OH MY GOD
Lil Don:
HAHAHAHAHA
suzanarchist:
THAT WAS BAD
cynthia:
CUNT
cynthia:
CUNT
suzanarchist:
I AM SO SORRY
cynthia:
CUNT
Lil Don:
HOLY SHIT
cynthia:

Jon:
hahahahahahahha
Lil Don:
hAHHAHAHAHA
Shimosh:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
cynthia:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Jon:
amazing
suzanarchist:
I ACTUALLY MISTYPED THAT
cynthia:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
suzanarchist:
NO JOKE
suzanarchist:
WHAT DID I DO
Lil Don:
I FUCKING TOOK A SHIT ON MY COMPUTER
cynthia:
I LOVE THAT WORD GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
suzanarchist:
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
cynthia:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DON
cynthia:
CUNT-IA
cynthia:
omg omg
Lil Don:
LOL
cynthia:
i cant im dying here
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
SUZANNE FAIL
Lil Don:
CUNT FAIL
Jon:
best mistake of 2009
suzanarchist:
uh
Jon:
Cunt Win




suzanarchist:
you can't wu tang better than me
suzanarchist:
i'm going back to baltimore
Jon:
brawltimore
Shimosh:
HAHA
suzanarchist:
'that's right
cynthia:
2:47 am, cunt , cucumbers, paper bags, justice.....
Jon:
haha
Lil Don:
hahahaha
Shimosh:
YES.
Lil Don:
yes
Shimosh:
cunthia
Lil Don:
exactly
suzanarchist:
i'm going to BALLtimore with gaspard
Lil Don:
hahaha
suzanarchist:
bye
Jon:
hahaha
Shimosh:
that was the greatest
Lil Don:
CUNTIMORE


Jon:
there is no farting on food... therefore don is uninterested



suzanarchist:
are we gonna look at dick all night
suzanarchist:
bc im down
suzanarchist:
i mean



Jon:
amy will film suzanne randomly, and splice all the clips together to make a movie
Jon:
and that will be her parts
Shimosh:
hahahah
cynthia:
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Shimosh:
damn
Jon:
and it will interact with the rest of the movie
Shimosh:
damn this video
Jon:
haha
Shimosh:
ahahahahhahahaha
Lil Don:
dude
Shimosh:
yesss that would be so creepy and hilarious
Jon:
hahaha
Shimosh:
and cucumbers everywhere
Lil Don:
you know people are going to be touching themselves to that video thinking it's the real justice
Jon:
involuntary.. involvement
cynthia:
i know i will



Lil Don:
justice would be touching themselves to that video
cynthia:
actually i think they will be turned on by th eidea of 2 girls acting as justice
cynthia:
hahahaah don
cynthia:
YES
Shimosh:
haha i know
suzanarchist:
uh
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
DON
Shimosh:
they will
suzanarchist:
DON!
Shimosh:
how masturbatory.
suzanarchist:
i am not commenting
Shimosh:
"i am not commenting" is a comment.
cynthia:
MASTURBATORY
cynthia:
OMG




Lil Don:
amy i know you're wearing those sideburns right now
suzanarchist:
me too
suzanarchist:
ADFShdhsjakdf;adfjssad;k
suzanarchist:
DON STOP
Jon:
LOLOL
suzanarchist:
DON
Shimosh:
fuck
suzanarchist:
STOP LOL
Shimosh:
how'd you know?
Jon:
its the only way she can sleep
Lil Don:
and I know suzanne's wearing those cucumbers
suzanarchist:
DON
Jon:
HAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Shimosh:
LOL
suzanarchist:
DON
Jon:
thats the only way i can sleep




cynthia:
JON DON AMY SUZ CUNTIA
Lil Don:
hahaha
Shimosh:
CUNTHIA
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
CUNTHIA!
Shimosh:
THAT WAS THE BEST
Shimosh:
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Lil Don:
mannn
Lil Don:
lolol
cynthia:
IM A CUNTHIA
Jon:
hahahahahhaha
Shimosh:
you are so cunthia
Shimosh:
that's so cunthia
Jon:
i was gonna say that
Jon:
hahaha
Shimosh:
HAHA
Shimosh:
same mind
Jon:
lol yus!
Shimosh:
YUS
Shimosh:
cyn, you can have your own show
suzanarchist:
uh
Shimosh:
parody that's so raven
suzanarchist:
bleep
suzanarchist:
dfok
cynthia:
this is so cunthia
suzanarchist:
eafidshcvxk
Jon:
hahahhaha
Lil Don:
That's so cunthia!
cynthia:
haha
suzanarchist:
odfsdv
suzanarchist:
]egknrf,cvkb,
Lil Don:
YES
cynthia:
OMG LOL
Jon:
WIN!
cynthia:
WTF HAHA
suzanarchist:
p;okjpilnkbn
Shimosh:
we'll all be in it as your supporting cast
cynthia:
MAJOR WIN
suzanarchist:
no cucumber
suzanarchist:
zucchini





Lil Don:
no cucumber
Shimosh:
HAHAHA
Lil Don:
just cunt



Shimosh:
don does not know the meaning of the word "inappropriate"
suzanarchist:
CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT TALL SKINNY DJS WITH LARGE WEINERS NOW PLEASE
Shimosh:
he should really look it up in the dictionary one day
Lil Don:
hahaha
Lil Don:
no there is no such thing
Jon:
but we just got started
Shimosh:
but that's the best topic of conversation
suzanarchist:
arrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
cynthia:
large weiners
Shimosh:
HAHA YES
Lil Don:
haha
Jon:
hahahaha
cynthia:
johnnies
Shimosh:
so..
suzanarchist:
i'm gonna have SO MUCH MACARONI SALAD



cynthia3
macaroni salad will come out of ur ears
Jon:
eating macaroni salad thinking about DJ weiners
Jon:
haha
Lil Don:
you'll poop out little gaspards
Jon:
LOLOLOL!
Lil Don:
it's actually little turds with a mustache
Shimosh:
ahahahah
Lil Don:
and leather vests
Shimosh:
poop out gaspard
Shimosh:
s
Jon:
that would tickle
suzanarchist:
DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN



suzanarchist:
DON
Lil Don:
lol
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
DONNN
suzanarchist:
POO POO WITH LEATHER VEST
suzanarchist:
DON
Jon:
Poop gaspard can bee a character too
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
NO
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
LEATHER VEST POO POO
suzanarchist:
NO DON
Jon:
omg
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
Leather Vest Poo Gaspard



Blaze:
it always creeps me out when people say "your parents were young then. you weren't even a twinkle in their eye"
Shimosh:
wha?
suzanarchist:
yeah LOL
suzanarchist:
LOL
Shimosh:
who the hell says that?
suzanarchist:
amanda is funny
Jon:
lol hahahahhahaa
Blaze:
professors
Jon:
...amy
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
that's where babbies come from
Shimosh:
hahahahah shut up!
Lil Don:
eyeballs
Jon:
your eye?
suzanarchist:
amanda is in the wu tang
Blaze:
i remember way back when...
Jon:
no its balls
Blaze:
ghostface killah
Jon:
not eyeballs
Shimosh:
no balls
Jon:
...don
suzanarchist:
see it told u
Lil Don:
just big eyes
Shimosh:
just big cucumber


Jon:
gaspard messaged me, he said to stop looking at his weiner
suzanarchist:
dskjfkadsjklfsdjksj
Jon:
...please
suzanarchist:
SANDWICHES YES
Shimosh:
LOL JON



suzanarchist:
oh no
suzanarchist:
jon saw all my comments
Jon:
hahahha
Jon:
amy showed me that
suzanarchist:
uh
suzanarchist:
...
suzanarchist:
it wasn't me
Jon:
hahaha
suzanarchist:
gaspard hacked my fb
suzanarchist:
that's why he's in my profile pic
Lil Don:
suzanne
Blaze:
gaspard is a pro hacker
suzanarchist:
and he writes stuff under my name on that page
Blaze:
or good at guessing passwords
Lil Don:
you kept trying to hit on gaspard and xavier on facebook
suzanarchist:
to make me look more stupid than i already am
Blaze:
because your password is "gaspard"
suzanarchist:
no that was gaspard
suzanarchist:
AMANDA
Lil Don:
hahaha yes
suzanarchist:
LOL
suzanarchist:
AMANDa ! LOL
Shimosh:
HAHA
Blaze:
am i opposite sebastiAn or what?
suzanarchist:
wait
Jon:
ohhhhh
suzanarchist:
WHAT
Jon:
lol
suzanarchist:
???
Blaze:
all caps except the a
Shimosh:
HAHA
Jon:
did amy just hear sebastiAn?
Shimosh:
yes
Jon:
lol
Blaze:
he's moaning in her bedroom




Jon:
uncontrollable drool
Shimosh:
ahahaaahahaha
Blaze:
swimming pool
suzanarchist:
AMANDA!!!
suzanarchist:
AMANDA!!!!
suzanarchist:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA
Blaze:
chlorine kills sperm
Jon:
dont drink it
Shimosh:
lawlz
Blaze:
sperm or chlorine?
Blaze:
or dead sperm
Jon:
sperms is okay
suzanarchist:
uh
Jon:
not chlorine
Jon:
hahaha
suzanarchist:
iknew this woudl get bad
Blaze:
i love advice
Jon:
it was tested in the masturbartory
Blaze:
YS
Blaze:
E
Jon:
hahahhaa
Jon:
don tell us your results
Jon:
haha
Blaze:
that sounds like a dangerous place
Lil Don:
hey
suzanarchist:
AMANDa
Jon:
hahahahahha
suzanarchist:
AMaNDA
Blaze:
also not clean
Blaze:
are you testing out my new capitalization or talking to me?
Lil Don:
suzAnne
Lil Don:
I dont' think it works if it's in the middle
Jon:
dOn
Lil Don:
no
Lil Don:
that's stupid
Jon:
oh damn
suzanarchist:
dOn
Jon:
Don
Jon:
there
Jon:
hahaha



suzanarchist:
i'm gonna save this chat
Jon:
JoN
suzanarchist:
and send it to busy p
Lil Don:
oMg hI jOn!
suzanarchist:
and he'll put it on his blog
Jon:
hahahaha
Lil Don:
a/s/l
Jon:
lOlZ
suzanarchist:
starting from the part about gaspard's package





Jon:
his cucumber isnt hard enough
Lil Don:
Hard summer
Blaze:
it won't even reach your eye
Jon:
therefore... useless
Lil Don:
it doesn't even have sideburns
Jon:
no cucumber should be without sideburns
Jon:
maybe its too hot for sideburns
Lil Don:
it's never too hot for sideburns
suzanarchist:
JON
suzanarchist:
DON
Lil Don:
SUZ
suzanarchist:
AMANDA
Jon:
AMY!
Blaze:
ME
Lil Don:
CUNT
Jon:
you
Lil Don:
wait





Jon:
its spreading
Blaze:
like the herps
Lil Don:
dammit
Lil Don:
beat me to it
Jon:
lol
Lil Don:
just like herpes
Jon:
i was gonna say like your mother
Jon:
ba da ding!
Blaze:
her legs?




Blaze:
i just typed "why is your dick so small" in another chat i'm in
suzanarchist:
LOL
Blaze:
there was context
suzanarchist:
amanda u pimp





suzanarchist:
don
Shimosh:
cucumber
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
DON!!!!!
Blaze:
gaspardcumber
Lil Don:
RULES!!!
suzanarchist:
AMANDA
suzanarchist:
!!!!!
Shimosh:
LOL
Jon:
cuCUMber
Lil Don:
hahaha
suzanarchist:
JON!!!!
Lil Don:
LOL
suzanarchist:
ROLL CALL!!!
Shimosh:
GASPCUMber
suzanarchist:
...d
Jon:
lol
suzanarchist:
,,,
Shimosh:
DR. SCOTT!
Shimosh:
ROCKY!
suzanarchist:
nndjbkfsm
Lil Don:
vests.
Blaze:
that doesn't sound like it belongs to gaspard anymore
suzanarchist:
you guys
suzanarchist:
AMY YOU ARE A BITCH
Jon:
GaspCumberDIX
Shimosh:
DR. SCOTT!
suzanarchist:
THAT IS DUMB
suzanarchist:
AMY
Shimosh:
LOL
Lil Don:
Gasping DIX
Shimosh:
GaspCumberDIX
suzanarchist:
THAT WAS THE DUMBEST THING
Jon:
CumDix






Blaze:
gaspard's penis
Lil Don:
I NEED THAT
Jon:
LOL!
Shimosh:
lol
Jon:
you need gaspards penis?
Lil Don:
A Gaspard's Penis Chia pet?
Shimosh:
hahaha
Lil Don:
with growing sideburns
Jon:
lol
Blaze:
cha-cha-cha-penis
Lil Don:
hahaha
Jon:
cha cha cha maturbatory!
suzanarchist:
AMANDA
suzanarchist:
JON
suzanarchist:
DON
suzanarchist:
STOP TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION
suzanarchist:
ITS WORKING




...and honestly, this is a very small sample of our conversation...

we really all DGAF.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This Guy...

is DGAF

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.



100 days, 100 dances? Ely Kim, you are my new temporary DGAF hero.

CMYK DGAF

obviously, we do not give a fuck:




and we submitted this in a fucking video contest.
In fact, we're so dgaf that we sent this to busy p and he put it on his blog. For those who are unaware, Busy P is the head of Ed Banger, the label that Justice is on.
This video is the most DGAF thing we've ever done. I am amazed by our own DGAFness sometimes.

ps, yes, that's us in the video as all those electro artists, and yes, we are actually both girls.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

DGAF Profile #1: KAVINSKY

"drink all your vodka and stop traffic in hollywood" edition

Coke? —taken from meowza's flickr

This guy is the epitome of DGAF.
French DJ Kavinsky (signed on Fool's Gold) does not give a FUCK. Only he can ride around in a Testarossa, drink all of Busy P's vodka, get a bouncer from Cinespace in a headlock, then get caught in a headlock himself, stop traffic outside of Cinespace at 2 in the morning and wear shirts that say "Coke" on it and get away with it. There are many types of DGAF in this world, and Kavinsky is the badass type of DGAF.


Look at what this guy is wearing, is there any question as to how DGAF he is?—photo from SHIMOSH's flickr

This man DJ's around the world, driving around in a red Testarossa. He even made a song based on his Testarossa. In fact, he created an entire backstory to his music and became the character of his music. Can you do that if you gave a fuck? I highly doubt it.



Kavinsky supposedly died in 1986 in a car crash in his Testarossa. He came back to life as a zombie and now drives the streets with the Testarossa. In 1986, that fool was 11. He died while driving a car at 11. DGAF indeed.

The shirts he wears is just extra proof about how DGAF he is. Coke? You know he does a lot of it. And I'm not talking Coca-Cola, either. How else do you come up with shit like dying in 1986 while driving a Testarossa? And he sports that on a shirt for the world to know, because he just DGAF.

He not only makes crazy music and even crazier characters, but he acts in his friend Quentin Dupiex (Mr. Oizo)'s videos and films. Even the characters he plays are DGAF.



Does he give a fuck that he's throwing some kind of square softball and acting in the most nonsensical film of this century? No. No he does not.


The only video interview I know of that exists of this man is also incredibly ridiculous:




Superpowers: "Just a big dick." Do I need to go any further? I think I've proved my case.

First Post: DGAF


We CMYK: Coolest Motherfuckers You Know.

And we DGAF: Don't Give A Fuck.